My resolution this week is to be less gracious with the self-seeking and self-important, the endlessly complaining and the relentlessly boring. Especially those who achieve all of those special qualities together, and feel that the rest of the world would benefit from sharing their unique insights into everyone elses' failings. Constantly.
I figure that I've been patient, polite, and well mannered for years. I've listened to, and read concepts so blindingly silly that US comedy writers would kill for them. I've been regaled with arguments so cretinous that most peoples' eyes would have remained crossed for years without a change in the wind. Conspiracy theories so asinine that Days of Our Lives or Today Tonight would consider them fatuous. Yet they still keep going. Yak, yak, yak. Tap, tap, tap. Look at me, look at me.
Isn't it a miracle that they're always right? How is it that everyone else is always so wrong?
Perhaps my mistake was pretending to be interested. Or thinking that rationality is a cogent argument.
A good test is their complete inability to recognise irony. I wonder if it's possible to develop some other sort of test (perhaps something they breathe on, like a breathaliser, since they always have lots to say) which could flash 'Run Away Now' to those around in large red letters. Some sort of siren would be handy.
A very good and wise friend lives by the maxim that he wouldn't want to die not knowing, and he wouldn't like you to, either. I think that we would be performing a community service by sharing the truth with the perennially pompous, the neverendingly narcissistic, and the incessantly idiotic.
They won't stop, of course, but we won't have to listen to it. Once, you would have to go out to seek them out. With the interweb, they lurk wherever they can, insinuating themselves into other's interactions and deluding themselves that people aren't deleting and or blocking them.
And frankly, if you're thinking "that's terrible, I'm going to leave a comment here", you're probably one of them. Think about it, while I block you.